I avoided eye contact. I knew if I uttered my word, id cry.

I was training my dog to stay.

She is a BIG excited thing, and just can’t hardly stand to stay in place.

Over and over we did this exercise. I’d tell her to sit, I’d take steps back and hold out my hand and repeat firmly; “wait.”

Each time she’d give in to her anxious thoughts, and run to me before I gave the command, “come”

each time we’d start from the beginning again.

In one of my church meetings someone asked; “what word best describes your year?”

Several people shot their hands in the air excited to joke and share. “Exhaustion” one said “change” said another. “Joy” “repent” “happy.”

I sat there and avoided eye contact, because I knew if I uttered my word I’d start to cry.

Wait.

I’ve been stretched, pulled and uncomfortable for an entire year.

I’ve cried, mourned, and pleaded.

My husband and I have wanted to grow our family. We just cannot seem to do so right now.

We have felt strongly prompted to adopt.

Research, money, time, and hope have all been invested in this journey, and so far, it has led no where.

Throughout the year, with a giant wound in my aching heart, I’d try to set aside my intense disappoint and anger.

I would reach out to God.

Only to receive the impression (if any)

“Wait.”

My experience training our dog to “stay” flooded back to me.

I feel like her, just SO eager.

Not understanding why the training and obedience “practice” is necessary.

You see,

I teach my dog to “stay, wait” so that I am able to take her off leash. To have the confidence that she will be safe. Whether we’re near a road, a cliff, or encounter a wild animal. It’s ultimately so she can have MORE freedom.

“Do you not know, that I have something glorious for you in store?”

Trusting in my Heavenly Father, and trying to find peace in “His” timing is difficult.

 I’m an excited little thing, and so eager.

Heavenly Father has this beautiful plan for each individual one of us.

Undergoing trials, or “training”, guides and shapes us to be ready for what’s in store.

 Amongst my discomfort and frustration, I hear Him remind me,

“Enjoy what you have.

 I’ve made you something beautiful,

just wait.”