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I Deleted MY video as it was going viral -Shedding light on how going Viral can really feel.


"When videos take off, I know its a blessing because I am growing my community, but what no one really talks about is.. I also kinda HATE it. I hate that my sweet babies are being talked about in ways I cant control. I hate seeing the back side of these social media platforms. I am happy in my bubble."


I posted a video of me. It was in real time. I was sitting working on the couch "focusing" the point of the video was showing me feeling "triggered" by my toddler. He ran in the room and jumped on the couch. I got irritated because I was trying to finish something BUT then I caught myself before I “snapped” (raised my voice) and calmed myself down.

I said "sorry I almost got frustrated, but I took a breath and calmed down. did you need my attention?" I was SO glad I did because he came over to tell me he had cleaned up his toys!


I received so many “yo got this” “go mama!” “This was awesome to see thanks for posting” the first few days.

Then it hit 2.5 million views and after the 5th day I was receiving SO much toxic comments from people who misunderstood or wanted to hurt.

Saying I abused my kid, I’m the worst parent, I shouldn’t have kids if I get irritated so easily etc.

- I would rather be accused of murder, then be accused of abusing my sweet kids.


so I deleted it.


(off tik tok, it's still on Instagram)


I post videos to inspire, because it’s fun. Because I love building a tribe of woman who are in it with me. I don’t care that a video had millions of views or was rapidly growing my channel.

It was damaging me mentally.

Here’s your reminder to set mental priorities.--

in hind sight I think I should have just turned off commenting. I have received so much love from that video as well. of mamas who didn't feel so alone struggling with patience, or mamas who said I helped motivate them to take a breath before reacting.

I deleted it because, I logged on to tiktok every time, only to be flooded with mean hurtful things.

I wanted to end it immediately.

If I am being honest and shedding light on sides of Tiktok or social media that don't get talked about a lot.

I kinda hate when my videos take off.

I love when just my "mama community" sees them. when they get too big, SO many creeps come out of the woodwork. People message me personally or comment on my videos saying rude, hurtful, weird or creepy things.


I continue to post because, like I said, I love connecting with people who are in the same boat and phase as me. I love feeling like i'm inspiring or helping.

I ALSO like REALLY LOVE editing videos. I always have, thats why I do videography as a career.


When videos take off, I know its a blessing because I am growing my community, but what no one really talks about is.. I also kinda HATE it. I hate that my sweet babies are being talked about in ways I cant control. I hate seeing the back side of these social media platforms. I am happy in my bubble.


Thank you to everyone who read this far.

Not everything I say is fact but its my truth,


-Nicole Jordyn



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