I'm not "lucky" my husband helps me
I am not "lucky" that my husband helps me.
Alright that may sound intense but let me explain myself. I have just been scrolling, reading through posts on (Wife's or Women's FB groups) where some women were expressing their frustration, asking for advice or looking to be validated. Let me also note, that I have been a member of these groups for around 3 years. It's almost a daily occurrence, that I read a juicy post and think to myself "dang I am lucky for Taylor."
Here is the kicker. I am NOT! Honestly Taylor is amazing. He treats me great, he doesn't abuse me physically or mentally, he helps pick up around the house WITH OUT any nagging, he comes home when he says he will, he doesn't text other girls, and he gets up every day and goes to work/ school. I am not lucky that he does these things though...
These are things I do every day, these are things I am sure every single one of those women who are posting do every day. These are things my dad did every day. Taylor is a good person who does his share BUT, I am not lucky he decides to participate in life like a normal person should.
I would never want to violate any ones privacy by quoting them, especially when its such a tender topic they are posting about. I do understand without sources and exact examples that I lose validity. I can however give you examples in my own words.. I understand that is not the same, who is to say I didn't make it up. You are just going to have to trust me.
One woman was seeking advise on how to ask her husband to help out at night with the baby so she could sleep. Sounds normal. She mentioned that she gets up every night and in turn only gets a few hours of sleep. Her husband refuses to get up when the time comes as he is "tired."
Here is the part that made my blood boil.
This husband isn't working, he hasn't had a job in a while, instead the wife goes to work every day functioning on 5 hours of sleep and then comes home to a messy house.
There are posts about husbands wanting to play their Xbox's from the time they get home from work till bed, not helping out with anything and not having time to be intimate.
There are posts about husbands choosing their Mothers side over their Wife.
There are posts about husbands nagging their wife to lose weight a week or two after just giving birth.
The lists go on and on. I used to love reading these posts.. they were fascinating to me. I am super nosey and I got to know personal business. Most of them are anonymous. Most of them are women just trying to figure out what is acceptable to put up with and what is not.
My motto in life is, "you get what you tolerate." I realize not every one has my aggressive/ blunt personality. I just wonder at what point in your life do you sit down and look at how your life is going and just accept that you aren't "lucky" in the helpful husbands department?
If anything The whole point of this post is to build the women who are reading this up. Not shine a light on problems. I gave examples because I believe some woman don't realize that having their husband actually be a part of the team is a normal thing. You aren't blessed beyond reason that your husband helps you. You help out every day, you do so much. I cant stress this enough, women do so much! You guys are a team.
I was raised in a home Where my mother and father were happily married and in love- in this day and age that is "lucky."
My dad picked me up from school sometimes, he helped make dinner sometimes, he helped put us to bed sometimes, he made a living for our family. That is not lucky, that is a good man doing his job.
I feel for these women, I want them to know they deserve help. It shouldn't be all up to you. Don't let yourself get taken advantage of because you both have this delusion that its all your responsibility... it's not! If there is one thing I want my children to learn it's this. Be a team, be evenly yoked.
I just want to end on a positive note by expressing why I actually am "lucky" to have married my husband.
Taylor honors his priesthood, and when I wake him up at 3 am to give me a blessing he tries to act like he's honored instead of tired.
Taylor chooses to have faith in me and my youtube endeavors. He never asks me what I do all day, he just knows I am trying my hardest.
Taylor loves my family, some personalities are hard to love but he just gets in there and finds common ground.
Taylor is very ambitious, he is pursuing his education further and hopes to make a good living for our family.
Taylor is good looking.. There I just had to say it. He is. That is a Fact. ;)
Photo cred: https://www.laurendormanphoto.com/
Not everything I say is fact, this is just me speaking my truths. If you get offended easily this may not be the blog station for you.