To my peeps that never get invited to things.
I get comments all the time. (lets be real when I say all the time, I usually mean 2 people have said this to me. In this case I mean over 15 so..) People, mostly women will comment to me that I am always doing something fun with a group. Most of the time there is an undertone of jealously, or frustration for themselves. Here is the thing.. I can say this with out a freaking tiny hint of exaggeration.. I LITERALLY PLAN EVERYTHING.
I honestly can not even recall a single hangout with a Large group (more than 4 people(2 couples)) that I have attended recently, that I have been invited to, with out any expectation to help provide anything. Whether it be entertainment, food, hosting. This is including holiday things, halloween parties, summer pool days, BBQs, Birthday parties! I take that back, Tay and I were invited by one of his classmates to a NYE party, and it was literally the most amazing/ confusing thing. I had no clue how to Just attend a gathering. With that being a rare occurrence, I never feel badly for those ladies who complain they have no friends.
Right now you are probably thinking to yourself "That Nicole Jordyn is kinda a jerk." Thats fine, here is why I don't feel badly. I push myself to be "brave", or even "embrace the awkward situation."
I seek out woman my age, who I feel like I could be friends with. Whether it be at the store, the gym, church, a car accident...
No lie I totally have gotten two phone numbers that way. Its NEVER fun or natural. I hate it every time.
Why do I do it then?
After I got married I sat and waited, STOKED to be invited to our first couples event.. I waited for a long time. I soon realized that A. I had no friends where we moved. And B. The few friends I did have, were attendies, not planners. I would never be invited to anything.
Attendies are people who are just fine living their lives solo, or with their families. They don't crave the social interactions us planners do. They are the people who you invite to things and they respond with "meh well see what we are up to that night." or " that sounds fun, I'll try and make it." No real enthusiasm or appreciation for the hours you will dedicate to that get together. If your friends are like mine its honestly about a 50% showing up rate with them... Even if it's your birthday party.. But we wont get into that.
Planners. Oh heavens I LOVE the planners, they are the ones who are so insanely stoked to come. They are relieved because they get to socialize with out the stress of hosting. I love them. I search for them. When I find a planner, I cling to them. They appreciate all that you do because, HELLO they have been there. They always RSVP, and you don't need to send them 2 reminder texts before the event. BLESS THEIR SOULS.
I learned real early in life that I was a planner. I was often bored or frustrated because I felt I wasn't out living it up. It has honestly taken me years, but I have now accepted my role.
If I want to have social interactions, parties, gatherings. I have to plan them. I have to come up with the ideas, I have to reach out and invite, I usually have to host, I have to type up a creative delicious text explaining why my attentie friends would enjoy leaving their homes and come spend time with me.
I have done it since high school and I will continue until I am dead. That is my fate.
Recently I hosted a girls night. I was approached by some one who I assumed was an attendie. She pulled me aside and told me she hadn't received an invite to my house in quite a while. She was relieved to hear she was invited today because she always looked forward to my gatherings. She was worried she had rubbed me wrong, and was no longer going to be invited, and it made her really sad. I realized maybe there was a third category.
There are days where I feel down, wishing I was invited to something. Wishing that I could show up to something fun happening and just leave when I wanted. No worries in the back of my mind about having to clean up a mess. Then I think of all the people out there who aren't as bold as me. Who would NEVER ask for a girls phone number to "get together" after rear ending her car. People who don't have the space or can't deal with the stress of hosting.
For those people (and anyone else who wants to come to one of my parties) I will step up to the plate and plan on.
Some might refer to me as a hero, and gosh darn it I will try my best to live up to that title.
Not everything I say is a fact, but these are my truths.
Nicole Hero Jordyn